ROSEANNE’S NUTS: Roseanne is the comedienne/actress formerly known as Roseanne Barr. This reality show focuses on her as she and her family run a macadamia nut farm in Hawaii. Roseanne has been very vocal about her experiences in the TV business and she’s joined twitter where she expresses her opinions quite specifically and very often. Sometimes I think she’s off her nut (pardon the pun) and sometimes I think she has flashes of great intelligence. I’ll check this show out at some point just to see what she’s up to. Tune in to Lifetime at 9pm for the premiere.

RESCUE ME: The show starts its final season tonight. In tonight’s opener, FX says, “Sheila and Janet join forces and shake up Tommy’s family life” which could mean anything on this show. The past two season of the show have been lackluster yet I kept watching. I hear Maura Tierney returns this season and that she’s very very good. I still love the cast of the show including John Scurti (Lou), Daniel Sunjata and Steven Pasquale so I’ll be watching as the show takes a final bow. RESCUE ME returns tonight at 10pm on FX.

DAMAGES: I haven’t seen tonight’s season premiere. All I know is John Goodman plays the head of a private military security firm (think Blackwater) and Patty Hewes goes up against him. Goodman vs. Close is an acting match worth watching even if I don’t understand the machinations of the plot – which I probably won’t if past seasons of the show are any indicator. Sadly, no Tate Donovan this season although I’m hoping for some flashbacks with his character Tom. DAMAGES returns tonight at 10pm on DirecTV.

THE BIG C: This show has hit its stride this season. It’s clicking on both dramatic and comedic cylinders as Cathy Jamison has decided to fight against her cancer and her brother Sean has decided to take the meds for his bi-polar mental state since he’s going to be a baby daddy. Oliver Platt is also outstanding as Cathy’s husband Paul, who wants to comfort and take care of Cathy as she fights the good fight. Platt is one of my favorite actors because though he can play broad comedy, he’s also very adept at keeping things grounded so nothing he does feels false. I’m continually surprised at how right Cathy and Paul are together and how Cathy’s cancer is changing their relationship. I was frustrated during the first season because of Cathy’s denial and lack of wanting to fight cancer and I’ll admit the issue hit close to my heart because my mom has fought cancer. This season, the issue is far more real and has infused the show with a real vibrancy. I also love how they’re telling Sean’s story alongside Cathy’s decision to fight her cancer; one is a disease of the mind, one of the body and it’s especially touching with their very close brother-sister relationship. New episodes of THE BIG C air Mondays at 1030pm on Showtime.

WHITE COLLAR: Sarah and Neal are one of TV’s sexiest couples but as Neal is Neal, I wonder how long the romance will last. I know Neal has a hankering to settle down whenever he sees Peter and Elizabeth together but I just don’t think Neal is the marrying kind. I loved Hunter Dano as Scott aka Robin Hoodie, the young criminal who aspires to be the next Neal Caffrey. I love how Neal gave Peter props as one of the smartest people he knows; they’ve really gone out of their way to deepen the friendship between Peter and Neal (and Elizabeth too). It was also interesting to see Neal giving advice to Scott about what’s in store for him if he chooses to live his life on the lam. I didn’t think it was realistic for the kid to give himself up so quickly; I thought for sure they’d bring him back later in the season. Maybe they will anyway since I would think the FBI will use him as a resource, the same way they use Neal.

JEFF LEWIS AND FLIPPING OUT: Is it just me or is it impossible *not* to love Jeff Lewis now? Boyfriend Gage has clearly had a softening effect on Jeff without decreasing his ambition and drive. Or maybe Jeff likes renovating and decorating houses more than flipping them. Whatever the case, Lewis is a changed man and I kinda love it.

THE GLEE PROJECT: I caught the second half of the latest episode and when Ryan Murphy told one of the contestants he could be more humble, well, I had to laugh. There’s no denying they’ve got some talented contestants but I think I’m enjoying the GLEE-less summer break.

R.I.P. TV GREATS: Sherwood Schwartz, creator of THE BRADY BUNCH and GILLIGAN’S ISLAND, passed on to the big TV house in the sky. So many people grew up with these shows and they’re an indelible part of adolescence. Sam Persky (half of Persky & Denoff) passed away too; he worked on THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW and that show was integral to forming my comedy brain. Here’s a very good interview with Denoff from 2000:

EMMY NOMINATIONS EARLY THURSDAY MORNING: The Emmy nominations will be announced tomorrow morning, Thursday, at 530am PT / 830am ET. Melissa McCarthy and Joshua Jackson will announce the nominees. CNN and E! usually air the announcements live.

TODAY’S SURF WRITTEN WHILE LISTENING TO: John Doe & Jill Sobule performing Sobule’s song “Mexican Wrestler” –

Tonight’s rundown:
ABC: 8:00 p.m. Lucy Must Be Traded, Charlie Brown (R) 8:30 p.m. The Middle (R) 9:00 p.m. Modern Family (R) 9:30 p.m. Modern Family (ABC) 10:00 p.m. Primetime Nightline—Beyond Belief (The Miracle Mysteries)

CBS: 8:00 p.m. Big Brother (time period premiere) 9:00 p.m. Criminal Minds (R) 10:00 p.m. Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior (R)

NBC: 8:00 p.m. Minute to Win It 9:00 p.m. America’s Got Talent 10:00 p.m. Love in the Wild

Fox: 8:00 p.m. So You Think You Can Dance (two hours)

THE CW: 8:00 p.m. America’s Next Top Model (R) 9:00 p.m. America’s Next Top Model (R)

Bravo: 10pm: Rocco’s Dinner Party

Lifetime: 9pm: Roseanne’s Nuts series premiere, 10pm: Dance Moms series premiere

FX: 10pm: Rescue Me season premiere

DirecTV: 10pm: Damages season premiere

Syfy: 9pm: Ghost Hunters International season premiere, 10pm: Legend Quest season premiere

USA: 9pm: Royal Pains, 10pm: Necessary Roughness
Shiri Appleby guests in tonight’s ROYAL PAINS episode.

On NECESSARY ROUGHNESS, Dr. Dani treats a NASCAR driver

That’s a wrap for now.

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